The Hot Mess Medium Show Ep. 21 The secret formula to overcoming your insecurities
Hey guys! I hope you enjoy this potentially Divinely timed pep talk about how to actually overcome your insecurities that are preventing you from not only making magic but actually sharing it magic with the world. (Whatever ‘it’ is.)
The topic of insecurities was placed on my heart to share with you because typically, when I'm experiencing a wave of something uncomfortable - usually it's coming up for a lot of us in the collective.
So I hope you leave this episode feeling inspired and ready to do the thing. Whatever that thing is for you.
Love you! Xo
For upcoming events, private readings & more info on how you can have your questions answered in the podcast, go to: www.mediumnatashiamack.com
Follow me on Instagram: @mediumnatashiamack
Transcript
00:00:00 Medium Natashia Mack
Hey guys, welcome back to the Hot Mess Medium Show. Thank you so much for being here. I am so excited to share this message that has been placed on my heart. Actually, it was placed on my chart. On my chart. Oh, frig. Oh my God. I'm not restarting this, you guys. Okay. It was placed on my heart this morning while I was in the shower.
00:00:23 Medium Natashia Mack
okay, because I like to tune in while I'm showering and I just, I find I get the best messages and downloads while I'm in the shower. Maybe it's something about like the kind of white noise effect that the shower gives. And also I will say too that water is a powerful amplifier for your intuition. Just FYI, being in a body of water and near a body of water is really powerful. So anyways,
00:00:51 Medium Natashia Mack
I digress. So I was in the shower and, I was tuning into how I could be of service today. And what came through was to, record a podcast episode about insecurities. And that just feels so fitting right now because over the weekend, I definitely had a huge wave of insecurities wash over me. And, even though it was an amazing weekend, like incredible even, yeah, incredible even.
00:01:20 Medium Natashia Mack
I still had them, and I think it's so important for me to talk about. And I also am just receiving these insights that, these messages that I'm about to share are very divinely timed right now. Like they're needed right now. And, you know, which reminds me, of course, that when I'm moving through certain things,
00:01:47 Medium Natashia Mack
Most of the collective is also moving through certain things, especially my listeners and my community. So, 9 times out of 10, that's what happens is I'm going through it. You guys are going through it too. So.
00:02:00 Medium Natashia Mack
Yeah, let's talk about it. it's kind of an uncomfortable subject. Like, no one wants to admit that they're insecure, although I don't mind admitting that. And actually, it's probably a good thing that I'm talking about this because I have noticed that there are a lot of people who are surprised when they learn that about me, you know, that I can be insecure and that I have a lot of insecurities. And they're surprised by that because
00:02:29 Medium Natashia Mack
of all that I do, of how I show up, right? I speak in front of large audiences. I speak on here. I show up in my stories no matter how I'm looking. Yes, sometimes I use filters. Sometimes I don't. You know, sometimes I have a face full of makeup. Sometimes I am, you know, barefaced.
00:02:59 Medium Natashia Mack
But anyways, aside from all of that, as I said, people are often surprised because of how much I do, how much I'm done, how I show up, how I speak, all the things, right? But I do have insecurities and I am insecure. I just don't let those stop me. That's the only
00:03:26 Medium Natashia Mack
thing. That's the difference. That's the secret formula. I have them. I acknowledge them. I am aware of them, but they do not prevent me from taking action. They do not prevent me from saying yes or for putting myself out there or for showing up, right? I just, I do those things with my insecurities in tow. They come along with me for the ride.
00:03:54 Medium Natashia Mack
And that's like such a huge misconception, right? So many people believe, they truly, truly believe this, and I did at one time too, that, oh, I have to wait until I'm no longer insecure to do that. I can't do that because I'm too insecure. That'll be for future me who's more confident, right?
00:04:23 Medium Natashia Mack
I'm curious if you've ever told yourself one of those things. Like, I'm just going to wait until I have the confidence. But you guys, that confidence never just like plopped itself down onto me. That never happened. Confidence is something you accumulate and gain over time. It is through pushing past your comfort zone
00:04:50 Medium Natashia Mack
moving past the insecurities and doing the things anyways, that help you exercise your nervous system and your capacity and your ability to be able to do hard things while having the insecurities, right? Confidence is something that just slowly over time, you start to gain.
00:05:18 Medium Natashia Mack
But it's as you are moving forward. No one ever gains it from just waiting for it to come or praying for it to come. Guess what? If you pray for confidence, guess what you're getting? You're getting a series of opportunities to help you gain confidence. Very uncomfortable ones. And that's life. That's part of it. That's exactly what led me to where I am now.
00:05:47 Medium Natashia Mack
I was scared ******** the very first time I spoke in front of an audience. Even if it was like five people, three, I remember being scared of speaking in front of three people. I remember calling that a group reading in front of, because I had three people coming over. And that to me was like such a big deal. I celebrated the **** out of that. I was so proud of myself.
00:06:14 Medium Natashia Mack
So I went from three people and I think the, most amount of people physically, in person that I've spoken in front of was just under 100. Online, I've had hundreds of people watching my lives, but that's different. It is different. There is such a huge difference between those numbers online and those numbers right in front of you. That's for sure. But anyways.
00:06:43 Medium Natashia Mack
I remember having the biggest insecurity about my voice and how I spoke. Huge, huge insecurity, fear even. I will go as far as calling it a fear. And I felt guided to start my own podcast.
00:07:05 Medium Natashia Mack
This was like my very first one. It was called the Wake Up with Natasha podcast. Some of my OG listeners will know what I'm talking about. And I did it. Like it was so imperfect and yet everyone loved it. I remember that being the thing that kind of exploded my business way back then because I just
00:07:35 Medium Natashia Mack
I just did it. And I admitted to being scared. I admitted to having this insecurity of using my voice. And, you know, I was just honest about it. I was real about it. And I just, I did it while scared and while super insecure. And then over time, I just became more and more comfortable with it. Because again, it's this accumulation. It's this.
00:08:04 Medium Natashia Mack
evolution, right? It's just something that you have to go through to grow through, right? You have to grow through these experiences and push past those uncomfortable feelings. And it's so important to remind your brain that just because it's uncomfortable, it doesn't mean you're going to die.
00:08:31 Medium Natashia Mack
Because that's sometimes what our brains convince us of, right? That like caveman brain, it's like, don't do that, you're gonna die. When it's like, no, actually I'm not. Yes, it's uncomfortable, but I gotta start somewhere. And I think that's what the message that like God is trying to push through me for everyone is you've got to start somewhere.
00:08:57 Medium Natashia Mack
Everyone has to. Everyone. This is a collective thing. It's not even an individual thing. It's literally a collective thing. This is something for everyone. Literally everyone has to start somewhere. Everyone has a day one at the gym. Everyone has a day one at that new class. Everyone has a very first podcast episode, which is probably super cringy, but that's okay. If you're not cringing at your past self, are you even growing?
00:09:28 Medium Natashia Mack
I mean, really, are you even growing if you're not cringing at like the very first photo you took, the very first photo shoot that you did? Whatever it is, you have to start somewhere. So like the other thing to be aware of is like, okay, everyone is insecure at this stage. Literally everybody. But you just gotta push through that.
00:09:56 Medium Natashia Mack
and prove to yourself how resilient you really are. Prove to yourself what you're capable of. And there is no other way to get there than to go through it. This past weekend, I had this incredible opportunity to officiate a wedding about 3 hours away. So in a place I've never been before, and I even got to stay in a hotel room because the rehearsal was the night before.
00:10:26 Medium Natashia Mack
And I was surrounded by all of these incredible vendors who they just like knew their ****. Like they were like the best of the best. The venue was absolutely stunning. It was incredible. Everything just felt such like high value. I don't know what the like other word is for that, but it was just.
00:10:55 Medium Natashia Mack
I don't know, just like being in that space, I was like, am I, like, am I meant to be, like, am I worthy of being here? Like, I don't feel like I'm at the same level as everyone yet. You know, I was kind of seeing like where I want to be, where I'm going, but it's like, I felt like, but I'm not there yet, but I'm, but at the same time, I'm here right now. I'm getting emotional talking about this.
00:11:24 Medium Natashia Mack
I didn't realize I felt that way. It's so funny what you can discover when you verbally process. And I just tend to do that with you guys. So thank you. Thank you for listening and holding space as I do that. But anyways, so yeah, I just, I noticed like I had so many insecurities and like, you know, I was looking in the mirror and I could,
00:11:48 Medium Natashia Mack
Like, it doesn't matter what I do with makeup. It's obvious, well, to me anyways, that, you know, one of my eye holes are significantly smaller and I've got a big scar there. And that's just like, there's something I have to accept, right? And I don't know if I said this in the beginning or not, but there's just so much power in acceptance. Like, accepting that it is the way it is, but also accepting that, okay,
00:12:15 Medium Natashia Mack
I am insecure about this, yes, but like, I cannot, I refuse to allow that insecurity to stop me or hold me back in any capacity, you know? And then, yeah, there's just, again, those insecurities of like, I, it's just like not feeling
00:12:43 Medium Natashia Mack
like I'm experienced enough or good enough, or I've been doing this long enough. And then, and also the comparison, right, of seeing other people doing their job so well. And I'm from the outside, them looking like they have so much confidence and like, I was just in awe of everyone. It was just incredible. It really was. But yeah, I just, I was, I noticed like I was kind of picking at myself and
00:13:13 Medium Natashia Mack
Yeah, but what? I, obviously I did it anyways. I, that's what I do. I just, I do it anyways, but I notice the insecurities, right? So where am I going with this? Why, am I sharing about this? I think it's just that reminder that like,
00:13:42 Medium Natashia Mack
There's a, obviously I was meant to be there if I was there. And there's a reason I was being shown what I was being shown. I could see myself being at that level, at that same level that these other vendors were at.
00:14:06 Medium Natashia Mack
And I could see myself being invited to these incredible spaces like I was, like I was there, meaning I was meant to be there. And so that's for a purpose. And I was being shown what is possible for me. And that's
00:14:27 Medium Natashia Mack
what I need to take away from it. That's what I need to focus on versus all the insecurities and not enoughness and comparisonitis that came up. It's like you can acknowledge that it's there, but what's the bigger picture here? I think that's another part of the message that I meant to share with you guys. It's like, okay, yes, acknowledge the insecurities, of course, but don't feed into them. Don't give them your power. Don't let them call the shots, right?
00:14:57 Medium Natashia Mack
what's the bigger picture here? What are you, like, what is this situation teaching you right now? What is this showing you? As I just said that, I look at the time and it's 333. I love that. Anyways, so that's like my biggest takeaway from that. And I hope that you can also kind of reflect on what your
00:15:25 Medium Natashia Mack
insecurities are there to teach you? And what is the like when you kind of when you kind of like zoom out of them, what is the bigger picture here? The other thing is, like, can you show yourself some grace? Can you give yourself permission to suck at something the very first time you do it, just like every other human being on this planet has had to deal with?
00:15:52 Medium Natashia Mack
I have sucked at many things, or just been not so great at many things, because it was my first time. Even if it's something I was led to do, it was, you know, divinely guided, it was super aligned for me. Even then, I still wasn't super amazing at it the first few times, or even more than that. That is normal.
00:16:21 Medium Natashia Mack
It is very, very normal. Even like the other thing coming through is like going to a workout class, right? How many of us avoid doing that? Being in a community setting, in a group setting, you know, around other women or just other like-minded individuals because we're insecure. But it's like you don't think they're insecure, but they're just pushing themselves to go anyways. The other thing is, guys,
00:16:49 Medium Natashia Mack
I realized, like, when I go to those classes, they're not looking at me. They are not looking at me. They're there to look at the instructor, instructor, sorry, and learn from them. You know, like, people aren't looking at you and dissecting you and tearing you apart the way that you do to yourself. And that's like a really hard pill to swallow, but it's so true. It is so true.
00:17:19 Medium Natashia Mack
People aren't paying as much attention as you think they are. They really aren't. They don't, they don't care as much as you do. They don't notice as much as you do. They have their own lives. They have their own **** to deal with. They have their own insecurities. And that realization, like when that came through for me a long time ago,
00:17:49 Medium Natashia Mack
That was, like, liberating to realize that. So liberating. I was like, Oh, damn. Okay, yeah. Obviously, like, that's so true. People, people don't care about those things or notice those things or judge those things as much as I do, like, towards myself. And so that's another, you know, loving reminder for whoever needed to hear it.
00:18:17 Medium Natashia Mack
The thing is, you could be doing something for the very first time, or you could be super new at something, but if you fake it till you make it, if- if that person, you know, that you're- you're working with, or who is witnessing you, or whatever, listening, they're not going to know that unless you tell them. You know what I mean?
00:18:43 Medium Natashia Mack
I learned that when I was when I was doing aesthetics. I was like so afraid that, they're going to think this and whatever because I'm newer and like, my God, what if I screw this up or forget about this? But then, I learned that actually they're not going to even notice because like you're the only one noticing. Like you're the only one who's
00:19:11 Medium Natashia Mack
super fixated on everything being perfect and it's totally okay. Being human means being imperfect. Being human means needing to learn from mistakes. Being human means needing to have opportunities to experience things in order to learn and grow.
00:19:41 Medium Natashia Mack
And that's just part of life. And once again, when you find acceptance with that even, there's power there. You will gain confidence over time. But even the best of the best aren't
00:20:04 Medium Natashia Mack
99% confidence and 1% insecurity.
00:20:08 Medium Natashia Mack
Like even the best of the best out there have a handful, if not more, of insecurities.
00:20:17 Medium Natashia Mack
Again, they just don't allow those insecurities to control their lives.
00:20:22 Medium Natashia Mack
So how to wrap this up.
00:20:25 Medium Natashia Mack
If you, know, have these insecurities coming up and
00:20:33 Medium Natashia Mack
They are holding you back from saying yes, from taking action, from, you know, doing all the things, whatever it is.
00:20:42 Medium Natashia Mack
You just have to practice, like take baby steps past your comfort zone, little by little.
00:20:55 Medium Natashia Mack
like a realistic teeny tiny amount that allows you to actually do it, not scaring the crap out of you where you avoid it altogether.
00:21:07 Medium Natashia Mack
Unless you're like me and need to just jump right in because I am someone who sometimes has to do that.
00:21:13 Medium Natashia Mack
Sometimes I do have to just like
00:21:16 Medium Natashia Mack
rip off the band-aid, and I've got to dive right in.
00:21:20 Medium Natashia Mack
But that's like, I know myself enough to know that I have to do that.
00:21:25 Medium Natashia Mack
So many times I've had to decide on a date for an event and put it out there, and then I would freak out about it.
00:21:35 Medium Natashia Mack
Because I knew myself enough to be like, okay, I have to set it in stone.
00:21:41 Medium Natashia Mack
I've got to decide here and now.
00:21:43 Medium Natashia Mack
I've got to make it public, and then I'll freak out after.
00:21:48 Medium Natashia Mack
But it's one of those things, like you've got to know yourself enough and you've got to have that level of discipline with yourself too.
00:21:55 Medium Natashia Mack
Like you got to be so real with yourself because you could say, oh yeah, I'll sign up for that and then never actually ******* show up, right?
00:22:05 Medium Natashia Mack
Like, but it's too easy to do that.
00:22:08 Medium Natashia Mack
And be real with yourself.
00:22:09 Medium Natashia Mack
Think back, like you probably have a pattern.
00:22:13 Medium Natashia Mack
You probably have a pattern.
00:22:16 Medium Natashia Mack
of either avoidance or yeah, whatever it is.
00:22:22 Medium Natashia Mack
So just be real with yourself.
00:22:27 Medium Natashia Mack
The other thing I want to share, and this is actually probably the last thing, because I have to go pick up my kids now from the bus stop, insecurities are a thief.
00:22:36 Medium Natashia Mack
They are a thief of joy, of time, of presence, of
00:22:44 Medium Natashia Mack
memories and experiences, insecurities are a thief.
00:22:52 Medium Natashia Mack
Do not continue to allow your insecurities to steal from you, to rob you from what you are so worthy and deserving of.
00:23:04 Medium Natashia Mack
Do not allow them to rob you of
00:23:08 Medium Natashia Mack
taking action or pursuing your passion or saying yes to those experiences and those opportunities or that change, the change that you know will be better for you, for your kids, for your life.
00:23:22 Medium Natashia Mack
Don't let insecurities win.
00:23:26 Medium Natashia Mack
And remember that it's okay to do hard things while being insecure.
00:23:30 Medium Natashia Mack
It's okay to do
00:23:33 Medium Natashia Mack
anything while also having insecurities.
00:23:36 Medium Natashia Mack
That's normal.
00:23:37 Medium Natashia Mack
They're going to be there.
00:23:38 Medium Natashia Mack
They're going to show up.
00:23:39 Medium Natashia Mack
It's going to be uncomfortable.
00:23:40 Medium Natashia Mack
You're going to have uncomfortable feelings in your in your belly, in your legs.
00:23:46 Medium Natashia Mack
But you can do it.
00:23:48 Medium Natashia Mack
It's not going to kill you.
00:23:50 Medium Natashia Mack
You can do it.
00:23:52 Medium Natashia Mack
And you will gain confidence little by little over time.
00:24:02 Medium Natashia Mack
I'm going to leave you with that.
00:24:04 Medium Natashia Mack
I hope it's the little pep talk that you needed.
00:24:09 Medium Natashia Mack
We got this.
00:24:11 Medium Natashia Mack
OK, we got this.
00:24:14 Medium Natashia Mack
I'm sending you so much love and.
00:24:16 Medium Natashia Mack
Yeah, let me know if you know this was divinely time for you if you needed to hear this and.
00:24:23 Medium Natashia Mack
I'll talk to you later.
00:24:27 Medium Natashia Mack
Bye.
